profile Girl. 21. Full-time working college student. Freaky. Awkward. Cynical. Loves music, movies and books. UK. Travel. Free. Feminists. Daydreamer. Ignorance. Contradictive. Melancholic. other places My Tumblr Nanashambles in MusicLand Check me out on Twitter =D 
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archives May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 May 2009 June 2009 September 2009 credits skin by: Jane |
Tuesday, 13 January 2009 @ 17:32
I hope I don't just jinx it... I feel like lately I've been blessed with so much love and joy. I guess this is the first time in a while that I feel completely healthy, and by that I meant not paranoid, not skeptical, but not too hopeful either. Just healthy and balanced. Yes, some things saddens me. I lost a good friend, she decided she cannot face me anymore. I'm not that unbearable, but I guess we just change and grow to a different direction, and hers and my path don't go in the same direction, it doesn't even go towards the same destination. There are times when I thought I'll break down like I did 3 years ago, considering how tight our bond was, but I didn't. I manage to let her go with a smile and a prayer that maybe someday we'll be in the same path again. Aside from that, so many cool things happened and will happen that kept me on my feet. Dinner and hanging out with some friends are always nice. Friends with common interests, friends to laugh with, friends from the same community, friends for networking, etc. But I decided that this is the time I should grow up and that I shouldn't just stick to just one 'Best Friend'. I should socialize more, I should be more confident. It's not that I don't want to have the 'Best Friend Forever' thing anymore, but I just don't trust people with my heart that much. Like Peyton from One Tree Hill says "People always leave." I know I will always have friends with whom I share sensitive things, but they are old friends. Friends that knew me from the start. Friends that have seen the worst and the best of me. Shopping is always a good remedy for bad mood. iPod Nano, DVDs, clothes, shoes, Concert Ticket XD. And of course there's always the getaway holiday. Long-distance relationship sucks. I miss him everyday. But it wasn't like my last LDR. I trust him in a way that even if he were to break my heart, he'll do it nicely and honestly. Well, as long as I don't act up =P. There's so many things I want to say to him, so many things I want to do with him, but I'm not very good at expressing those feelings. I'm falling in love so hard, I just hope I don't lose myself this time. Everybody important in my life right now are miles away from me. My family, my friends, him. But somehow I feel it's better like this, I get bored easily anyway. Being far away from people I love the most stops me from being like a b^tch that I am sometimes. I learn to cherish every moment spent together, whether it's talking online or on the phone or when we actually meet up face-to-face. I get to say how much I miss and love them and that's good for me. I don't do that very often before. This has been a good start of the year. I shouldn't brag much though, I still have eleven months to go before it's new year again. Anything could happen, in an hour, a day, a week, a month... But, I don't think it's wrong to at least be thankful for a wonderful beginning, right? Labels: Family, Friends, Personal, Relationship |