profile Girl. 21. Full-time working college student. Freaky. Awkward. Cynical. Loves music, movies and books. UK. Travel. Free. Feminists. Daydreamer. Ignorance. Contradictive. Melancholic. other places My Tumblr Nanashambles in MusicLand Check me out on Twitter =D 
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archives May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 May 2009 June 2009 September 2009 credits skin by: Jane |
Wednesday, 13 May 2009 @ 22:08
And after a while... Today I had a small talk with a friend who complained that she's tired of listening to her colleagues whine about their partners. Most of the whinings are how these girls feel insecure about their partners and try to implement certains rules to their partners. Rules such as no working late with female colleagues, no cheek-to-cheek greetings with female friends, decline all female clients, basically no connection whatsoever with any other female without their partners' supervision. I used to have a couple of girl friends who complained to me too about their insecurities. These complains sounded so extreme, that sometimes I feel like slapping them. They get so insecure about little things like exes, female colleagues/friends, even their own friends. These complains ranges from "My boyfriend looks at other girls when we go out together." to the absurd and nonsensible ones like "He said our friend is pretty." You get the point. Why I said nonsensible, because saying someone pretty is normal. That doesn't mean your partner likes them. Aside from that, I also heard a lot of cry for help from my guy friends who said their GF is to controlling. I heard them make fun of their GF's rules, or laugh at each other how they're so whipped and coward for having such a controlling GF or worse tries to break the rules and when their GF is away by flirting more with their female friends. I asked them why they do it. They said it's because the more guys are controlled, the more likely they disobey the rules. It's just how guys are. I tried to learn from both sides of these and come up with my own rules. 1. I don't make rules with my partner. I just simply say in the beginning of our relationship that if he's ever get attracted to another girl, I'd want him to be honest with me, no matter how hurtful that might be, rather than cheat. 2. I don't mind him having connection with other females if he wont mind me having social relationship with other males. 3. If I ever feel insecure, I talk to him directly instead of whining to my other friends. And by talking to him directly means I talk to him nicely, saying I feel uncomfortable of his relationship with a certain female and ask nicely whether he could possibly do anything about it. 4. Basically I give him enough freedom and be understanding so that he won't ever feel suffocated or controlled to avoid him rebelling on me. But give him little warning once in a while to show that I won't like it and won't forgive him if he ever do something hurtful to me. I think it's a good thing that I'm blessed with such a big heart and that I forgive and trust him easily. I'm also lucky that he's so much in love with me and we have this understanding, that he knows his own limits and consequences of having a relationship with me. Labels: Friends, Relationship |